The things that are
Called surfacing symptoms
Are on my tongue to say again
And I am making peace
With them, this time.
I am recognising that
Yes it did occur and yes
It was bad enough to
Harm me, but now I’m healed.
The wounds in my psyche
Have had recognition enough
To realise they don’t need
To worry about the worry
That existed in the past.
I am past that danger zone…
I drop those thoughts in
To the part of my mind
That is on remote control,
Drop those thoughts in…
Like a person with stomach
Ulcers trying to relax
The stomach that dissolves
The food in it automatically,
I drop those thoughts in…
Like an asthmatic meditating
And singing to get the automatic
Breath back to where
It is most comfortable.
I drop those thoughts in…
I am making the memory
Muscle of my mind relax
And stop being a problem,
Because it isn’t really,
It’s just a memory of trauma
That needed more conscious
Recognition that those things
That happened over years
And years, then happened
Again in other ways
With different people,
Weren’t okay and I won’t
Allow myself to be
Controlled that way again.
I know that love isn’t
An ambivalent thing,
It never should be
Extracted via fear, and if it is,
Then that is not okay
And should be acknowledged
For the wrong that it is.
