Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Psych-out Santa

I am Santa Clause

I came down your

Imaginary chimney last night

And filled your dirty sock

With more dirt,

Just to emphasise the dirty facts

That are your present condition.

I have your neighbours

Gossiping under the tree

About you and your mistletoe!

You know, you know, you know…

You can hear them can’t you?

If you can’t, well then,

You haven’t learnt how to

Listen in properly, haven’t

Trained your ears to be

Able to hear through walls

Like so many people can.

Even my reindeers can do it!

You don’t want to know?

Oh come on! They’re talking

About YOU and how YOU

Could be better if you listened

And learned to be more

Like THEM and what THEY do.

If you don’t listen,

You’ll never get better,

And you’ll spend another

Christmas all alone!

The only way you’ll improve

And make more friends

Is by listening into what

Society really wants.

Got to understand how

They need you to change!

Or all you’ll get is more dirt

In your dirty sock, sorry to say.

Hark! Here them now!

They’re saying how you’re

Stupid to pour yourself a whisky

As it’s only ten o’clock!

Don’t you get it? Don’t you?

I’m Santa Clause, I came

Down your imaginary chimney

Last night and I know

All about the terrible mess

You are in… Ho Ho Ho

Nightmarey cry must ass!

And a herpies ignore veer!

Ho ho ho jingle bells

Think back… think back…

You could be in the psych ward

Like last year, eating shit

For breakfast, lunch and tea,

Not able to escape,

Feeling sick on psych drugs,

Being told to your face how

Horrible you are and being given

Those labels that condemn you.

That’s what you deserve.

That’s how you should be treated.

That’s what happens to people

Who can’t listen in properly

And learn how to behave!

You need to be told and told

To your face in psych-out sessions

Until you have insight

Into your sick state of mind!

I’m Santa Clause, I came

Down your imaginary chimney

Last night and filled your dirty

Sock with more dirt, so you’d

Understand, you have to

Clean up your act in the New Year.

‘Fuck off’ you say? Well, that’s

All you’ll get from others if you

Say that to jolly old Santa!

No wonder you are all alone…

Hark! Listen to what others

Are saying about YOU and how

YOU need to make a change.

Listen damn you, you can’t

Afford to just enjoy yourself.

You’ve got to work this out

Or all you’ll get is dirt in your

Dirty sock year after year

And nothing will ever change…

You do want to get better,

Don’t you? Don’t you? Don’t

Forget that any time soon

They could come and get you

Even though it is Christmas

They could come into your home

And take you to their psych ward

To psych you out and fill you,

Like the dirty sock you are,

With their filthy ugly-face pills…

I’m Santa Clause and yes

You are seeing red, because

I’m wearing you down with it.

Oh? You’re going to call a friend…

Oh… didn’t know you had friends…

What you’re calling Lifeline?

Oh… oh… oh… don’t you want to

Listen to the neighbours gossiping

About you under their tree instead?
Alien Santa Shirtalien santa T


  1. GoNO, it can happen anywhere to anyone, anytime soon, only fighting brings change and decency to people

    1. So you think I should get out the juggling clubs next time Santa fills my sock with filth and block the imaginary chimney with them? Or just juggle them to hypnotise him into thinking I'm clever and don't need to listen to the nasty neighbours naying or look at his raging red suit?

    2. JUST FCUKEN FIGHT!!!! Any way you can!
      Go Well